The Barmy Bookshelf Bonanza

Once upon a time in the fair city of Port Saider, there was a mad alchemist. How he got his own shop despite being so cuckoo is quite unknown, and his only truly useful alchemical invention was a magical powder that made metalic edges incredibly sharp (of course he could only imagine using it on spoons, anything else is ridiculous). Anyway, longterm alchemical and magical exposure had started to take its toll on one of his bookcases. After some time this bookcase began to be able to think, and even speak. This would normally be an amazing and interesting event, except due to some sad magical fluke the bookcase was PURE EVIL.

It easily coerced the nutty alchemist into doing what it wanted and managed to keep the store afloat despite the madness of its 'owner'. The bookshelf began to accumulate wealth by proxy through the wacko potion-peddler and was planning all manner of nefarious and indescribably unseemly schemings. Luckily a band of noble heros happened to be in the neighborhood and they popped in to buy some magical "spoon powder" *wink wink*. In any case, the bookshelf knew that it needed more than just a demented alchemist if its plans of evil nastyness were to come to fruition. It tentatively began to speak with the adventurers in the hopes of convincing them to serve it. Luckily for polite society at large it was a bookshelf and thus not brilliant at the arts of conversation. Being a bit more sane than an insane potion-bottler the adventurers were not fooled and quickly learned that the bookshelf was evil.

The conversation quickly became tense as the bookshelf became aggressive. As a creature born out of magic it had natural magical talent and used its powers to paralyse, charm and befuddle the adventurers. They all bravely resisted but as is often the way, it was the smallest of them that succeded. A halfling lass, naturally unaffected by magical trickery and stubbornly brave as the halflings often tend to be, stood against the peice of foul furniture and knocked it over. the alchemical bottles lazily stored in its shelves by chance turned out to be of a variety that combust when mixed together. The bookcase was destroyed, and the building was burnt down.

now perhaps burning down a building in the middle of a crowded city doesnt seem like the most heroic thing, but i assure you no-one was harmed aside from a demonic hardwood shelf. And in the end, I think its a small price to pay for the act of saving the world from perhaps the most embarrasing thing to be conquered by imaginable.

I'm sure that now having thought about it, you too dear reader, agree.